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Kids Going off to College? Communication is not a Cure for Homesickness

By: Marijean Jaggers | 08/16/2010

You may have a kid going off to college for the first time this fall. It may be your second or third time around (my son's entering his third year of college life). If you don't know from your own experience as a parent, you may remember what it was like to be a college freshman yourself (come on, it wasn't that long ago!). College freshmen, many of whom are going away from home for the first time, often experience homesickness. An article on CNN identifies homesickness as a real adjustment disorder, with very specific symptoms. As parents (some of us, the hovering type) we want to over-communicate, to make sure we're doing everything we can to help a homesick kid through that rough phase. It's not summer camp though, and even though your newly-launched "adult" may be miserable in the first few weeks, you can't swoop onto campus and take him away. (Well you CAN, but we don't advise it.)

The CNN article says that activities like calling, texing, or (heaven forbid) Facebooking your kid every five minutes may be well-intentioned but not the healthiest way to help them get over the away-from-home blues. Instead, schedule a time to chat once a week with your freshman -- we used to have Sunday night calls -- just to touch base and let him share news. Be available though -- just in case the kid is having more serious issues and make sure he can reach you via cell, text or smoke signal in the event that he really needs to talk. Let's face it, you may be having a harder time adjusting than he is.

Do you remember those first few weeks of college? How and when did you communicate with your parents?

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