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Text what you won't say out loud

By: Tammy Stankey | 10/30/2007

My family has become avid users of text messaging. It started, of course, with the eldest of my two daughters. Our family vacation and that of her boyfriend overlapped, meaning they couldn't see each other for two weeks (horrible, I know). So they began sending text messages. It wasn't until we received the phone bill that we realized the impact. My husband promptly increased our text message service and before long he started sending text messages. I was the last to sign on, but I've discovered something interesting – and I think useful – particularly for parents of teens.

People will send in a text message things they are not willing to speak. This is especially true of teenagers. I shared this with a colleague recently who was complaining about access to his teenage daughter when she was out with friends. She had stopped responding to his calls. I asked him if he tried sending a text. He had not. What I have found, I shared, is that my daughters will almost immediately respond to a text message, even if it's asking them where they are, when they'll be home or asking them to call me. I've learned their response rate is driven by their ability to be discreet in reading what I've sent and in responding. For all their friends may know, they may be responding to another friend, not their “parent,” for goodness sake! The benefit? I find out what I need to know, and they still look cool.

Since I've been using this strategy I've also learned something else: my kids still love me. Really. They text me all the time! Would they say that to me on the phone with six friends hanging around? Sometimes, but not nearly as often.

What application does this have to business? It's all about understanding how your audience prefers to send and receive information. Whether it's a short message they can read on their iPhone, a detailed memo they can forward up the line or a phone call to iron out some differences, recognizing that the various media have their advantages and disadvantages and embracing what works goes a long way in communication.

Do I expect to text my clients soon? Probably not. But I'm glad I get to text “I luv u 2!” to my daughters.

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